beef rendang

+ the little ways i’m becoming my mom

Happy Mother’s Day! I know this day can feel joyful, complicated, or both.

I recently got to spend a few days with my mom in California, and every time I visit her, I realize more and more how much I’m becoming like her:

daily movement is non-negotiable for her

Every morning, she spends about half an hour stretching, and it shows, because she is way more flexible than I am at 62.

physical activity is also where she builds community

After stretching, she heads to pickleball. When I play with her, I swear everyone there is raving about how much they love my mom. I mean, she’s so cute in her little sun hats, how could they not??

she cooks in advance when hosting

TBH, just all the time. She’s always chopping vegetables here and there throughout the day to make mealtime easier later. Such a pro hosting tip!

she likes to sit and watch people enjoy the food she made

When my dad gets home from work, and my mom has already eaten, she’ll still sit with him while he eats dinner she cooked. I am so like this. Watching people enjoy food I made is probably my number one love language.

she loves a deal

Whether it’s in-season produce or past-season clothing, I definitely got my frugality from her.

she finds joy in working with kids

I always think about the story she told me of visiting the school she worked at after being gone for a few months, and so many kids ran up to hug her at once that she literally fell over. 🥹

and family is everything to her

We’re constantly FaceTiming. She also loves shoving the phone in my and my sisters’ faces when she’s talking to relatives in Indonesia, so we have to speak Indonesian to them. IYKYK.

I am the way I am because of my mother.

Even though I don’t get to see her as much as I’d like to, these little ways I’m becoming like her make me feel like I have her with me all the time.

cozy

I scored an Amish-made outdoor dining set from Facebook Marketplace that seats eight, and I’m already visualizing all the summer backyard hangs we’re about to have!

gain

I joined my friend Matthew’s run club! We ran a 5K (my longest run in a bit), and it felt so good to be back out on the lakefront trail.

I’ve made a pact with myself that every time I visit my mom, I’ll ask her to teach me one of the Indonesian recipes she made for us growing up. As every daughter of an Asian mom knows, this is often harder than you’d think because nothing is ever really measured. You just add “enough” of everything.

Rendang was once ranked one of the world’s best foods by CNN, and for good reason!! It’s a rich Indonesian dry curry where beef slowly cooks in coconut milk and spices until the liquid evaporates and the meat becomes deeply caramelized and coated in an intensely flavorful sauce.

My mom usually makes two or three batches at once because it takes hours to cook, and it still disappears fast!

Every Thursday, I share a high-protein recipe for paid subscribers. This week’s recipe is proof that you can satisfy your cravings and reach your goals at the same time:

tell your mom one thing she did really well

Why: Parents rarely get direct feedback on the things that stuck with us. Telling your mom something specific you appreciated, like how she made you feel safe or encouraged your interests, can be really meaningful. A little reassurance and recognition can go a long way, especially for someone who spent so much time caring for everyone else!

Making fun new outfits! This week I’ve actually been changing out of my gym clothes when I get home (wild, I know), and it’s made me appreciate the rest of my closet so much more.

what’s something about yourself that you now realize came from your mom or family?

Respond to this email or comment below with your answer! I’d love to hear.

My gym buddy Trista made the harissa chicken + herby roasted veg from Connie | Nutrition Curious’s guest post!

also a moment for trista’s cutie apron and shallow bowl! 😍

Thanks for spending this time here with me today! As always, I’d love to hear from you. Reply to this email or share a lesson you’ve learned from the moms in your life in the comments below.

🫶🏽 Ratih